dubstep?
Thursday, June 9, 2011, 5:58 AM | back to the top.
So you all know basically what sort of music I listen to right? Not really anything "Mainstream", but I thought I'd surprise you with a recent musical discovery of mine. And that is DUBSTEP. I was properly introduced to it by a friend of mine, (those who follow his blog would probably know who he is). But yeah at first I was like yeah it's okay. Then another friend of mine showed me this today, AND I WAS HOOKED. So I admit I never really liked "Electronic" stuff. But I admit this Dubstep stuff is pretty raw, and just blew my mind in some parts. So yeah here is a cover of Deftones - Prince.
¶ 5:58 AM
Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 3:44 AM | back to the top.
So here's a quote from a friend's blog. I don't think I'll source it unless she really wants me to? loli've never thought about things this much so why now?
WHY?
he's everywhere, every minute.
i bet i don't even cross his mind once.
telling someone was a big mistake. i should've kept it to my self.
i would've gotten over the tiny crush eventually.
i've gotten all these stupid hopes up and picture all the scenarios that won't ever happen.
i don't even know why i do this to myself.
i don't even look nice, especially beside him.
and i really should've done something, like going to the station earlier so wouldn't bump into him.
i don't get a decent night's sleep nowadays, especially with stress from exams.
my thoughts always, SOMEHOW, lead back to him.
and it's annoying the heck out of me, because i can't seem to control them.
you're so close to the ideal type.
i need to get over this quickly.
and i'm thinking about approaching you, so you can be weirded out and then think that i'm some freak, like someone you know, and then reject me, break my heart. anything to put me out of the misery of liking you.
GO GET A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING ALREADY.
i haven't experienced this in either a loong time or i've never experienced this
You know I can really relate to some parts of this. Of course switching the gender's around. It really pisses me off that it happens. Like it's this weird feeling that you like this person, but you don't want to? It plays with your head so much, and IT WILL JUST NOT GO AWAY! You try to get your mind off things but somehow it always leads back to them right? Especially during exams at that. A good quarter of my english exam was spent thinking about what happened, just because she happened to be right in my line of vision.
You know when I think about it, it is kind of funny. I mean it's so weird that the person you are trying to avoid just happens to be everywhere you are. In the end I think I let that crush just fall to far in. But what is done is done.
¶ 3:44 AM
Sunday, June 5, 2011, 8:16 PM | back to the top.
So over the last week I've only listened to ONE SONG! No joke I've just been listening to this one song on repeat constantly. It's just so brilliant, I've fallen in love with the Foo Fighters now. One of the best Rock bands in existence at the moment. Anyway here's the song. Just a note too, the band always do comedic video clips. They do it as a joke towards how modern day music videos are made, and how over dramatic they can be at time.Foo Fighters - Walk
¶ 8:16 PM
, 4:09 AM | back to the top.
I either come out of this exam period a better person or a worse person.¶ 4:09 AM
Saturday, June 4, 2011, 6:19 AM | back to the top.
I honestly can't imagine being stuck in this slump that I'm in any longer. It really is under-bearable. You try to fix things up and then they fail. So what do you do? People insist on just keeping on trying, like things will get better. Trust me when I say I've tried. But that doesn't necessarily guarantee anything. I try, I really do, but I just don't get results and then I'm back to where I began. In a slump. So what you expect me to just repeat the process over and over again. I'm sorry I don't really think I can do that anymore. And all in all I just keep pushing myself away from people and loosing them. But what the fuck do I do. I don't want to loose anymore people from my life, yet alone loosing myself. Help.¶ 6:19 AM
, 1:01 AM | back to the top.
Day so far..Well I went to English tutor this morning and figured out what article to write for the analysis part of the English Exam. That shouldn't be too bad. I told myself that when I got home I'd work on it. But somehow I spent the next 4-5 hours doing absolutely nothing. Then at 3, for lack of a better option, I decided to go to bed and sleep off the bad mood I was in. The initial intent was to sleep for about an hour max. But I ended up sleeping till 6. So as I staggered out of my room I then realised that some people had come over. Keep in mind my sleep hair is EXTREMELY BAD. Imagine my normal hair (which is pretty bad as it is) times 20. So here I am now reflecting on a wasted day.. I think I might try at least do some work on the physics cheat sheet... Hopefully tomorrow might be more productive.
P.S. My absolute favourite drink now has to be cappuccinos. I'm thoroughly addicted to them.
¶ 1:01 AM
Thursday, June 2, 2011, 9:40 PM | back to the top.
I'll probably be blogging a bit more now on here considering I'm off my tumblr for the moment.
Anyways I'm in Geography at the moment just nodding off so I thought I'd blog. So I didn't finish the Methods sac.. yay. I just wanted to get it over and done with and leave. I didn't even bother getting the last sac mark, until Farrel at lunch told me I should. So I'm currently dreading getting the mark afterschool. I'll probably finish off this post afterschool so I shall update then on my mark. Anyway yeah I did really shit on the sac today, and for some reason I've lost motivation to actually bother and improve. I'm just too mentally weak, and you are probably thinking, "Damien just start studying already", "Stop complaining and start working". And yes I know I know I should. I need to start bothering already...
School is just so draining for me these days. Why bother going. You go to school, do work you don't want to do, see people you don't want to see, then go home and do more work you don't want to do. Why bother with the system. I really want to just drop out and do a trade or something. I would be perfectly fine just being a mechanic. I may have low expectations of life, but why have such high ones just to get dissapointed. Seems pointless really when you think about it. You live you die, simple as that. Why make such a big deal on being rich and "happy". It is just fake bought happiness. Personally as I've already told some people, I would be perfectly happy spending my life working on cars and fixing them. That's my idea of a happy life. But of course I'm stuck with this option now.
You know I think I might take a new direction at social interactions. Instead of just hiding behind something and not really, I guess doing anything about how some people act to me. I think I'll just blatantly tell them. If you are being a bitch to me, I'll be a bitch to you. You hate me, I hate you. Simple right? I guess it'll be easier to vent anger instead of building it up. So no apologies to people I'm mean to now, if you deserve it you'll get it.
Anyways I'm in Geography at the moment just nodding off so I thought I'd blog. So I didn't finish the Methods sac.. yay. I just wanted to get it over and done with and leave. I didn't even bother getting the last sac mark, until Farrel at lunch told me I should. So I'm currently dreading getting the mark afterschool. I'll probably finish off this post afterschool so I shall update then on my mark. Anyway yeah I did really shit on the sac today, and for some reason I've lost motivation to actually bother and improve. I'm just too mentally weak, and you are probably thinking, "Damien just start studying already", "Stop complaining and start working". And yes I know I know I should. I need to start bothering already...
School is just so draining for me these days. Why bother going. You go to school, do work you don't want to do, see people you don't want to see, then go home and do more work you don't want to do. Why bother with the system. I really want to just drop out and do a trade or something. I would be perfectly fine just being a mechanic. I may have low expectations of life, but why have such high ones just to get dissapointed. Seems pointless really when you think about it. You live you die, simple as that. Why make such a big deal on being rich and "happy". It is just fake bought happiness. Personally as I've already told some people, I would be perfectly happy spending my life working on cars and fixing them. That's my idea of a happy life. But of course I'm stuck with this option now.
You know I think I might take a new direction at social interactions. Instead of just hiding behind something and not really, I guess doing anything about how some people act to me. I think I'll just blatantly tell them. If you are being a bitch to me, I'll be a bitch to you. You hate me, I hate you. Simple right? I guess it'll be easier to vent anger instead of building it up. So no apologies to people I'm mean to now, if you deserve it you'll get it.
OKAY YEAH I'M HOME NOW! If you aren't following, those previous paragraphs were randomly written at different times during last period. But I'm home now so I'll write something proper.
Btw, I got 22/32 for the previous Methods sac. Farrel insisted it was good because I actually pasted, but there is a long way to go.
So yeah I've been thinking a lot about friendships recently. And yeah I know I think too much, get over it. But like what can you use to define your friendship with someone? I find it really hard to define my social relationships for some reason. I mean yeah there are the obvious sub-categories of acquaintance, friend, best-friend. But don't you think that this is just too vague? I mean let me get into chemistry talk to explain this. You can consider classifying social relationships in a similar way to orbitals in an atom. So the higher energy orbitals are where your closer friends are, and lower energy orbitals are where your acquaintances are. BUT the electrons (your friends) can switch orbitals, and thus release energy in the form of light (or in context to this a fight). But there are not just those defined orbital shells, but there are many sub-shells as well. See what I need at the moment is one of those spectroscopes. For chemistry I know all the wavelengths and how to classify them. But for relationships I don't, I NEED TO KNOW PEOPLE'S WAVELENGTHS! So yeah I think you all understand what I'm saying now, so I'll stop with the chemistry comparison. You may ask why I want to 'define' my friendships with people. The answer is pretty simple, so I know what I'm getting and what I'm in for. If I feel like you are my closest friend, then realize I'm just secondary to you, I will be effected you know. Hence I need something definite.
Btw, I got 22/32 for the previous Methods sac. Farrel insisted it was good because I actually pasted, but there is a long way to go.
So yeah I've been thinking a lot about friendships recently. And yeah I know I think too much, get over it. But like what can you use to define your friendship with someone? I find it really hard to define my social relationships for some reason. I mean yeah there are the obvious sub-categories of acquaintance, friend, best-friend. But don't you think that this is just too vague? I mean let me get into chemistry talk to explain this. You can consider classifying social relationships in a similar way to orbitals in an atom. So the higher energy orbitals are where your closer friends are, and lower energy orbitals are where your acquaintances are. BUT the electrons (your friends) can switch orbitals, and thus release energy in the form of light (or in context to this a fight). But there are not just those defined orbital shells, but there are many sub-shells as well. See what I need at the moment is one of those spectroscopes. For chemistry I know all the wavelengths and how to classify them. But for relationships I don't, I NEED TO KNOW PEOPLE'S WAVELENGTHS! So yeah I think you all understand what I'm saying now, so I'll stop with the chemistry comparison. You may ask why I want to 'define' my friendships with people. The answer is pretty simple, so I know what I'm getting and what I'm in for. If I feel like you are my closest friend, then realize I'm just secondary to you, I will be effected you know. Hence I need something definite.
Too many problems going on in my life. I really need some stability right now. I think I work the best in a stable environment.
Example of a stable environment - A bunch of close friends I can trust, parents who care and allow me to be my own person, a school which I can be confident at about my academic standards.
Example of a non stable environment - My life at the moment (No I'm not telling you any more).
#There are probably quite a few typos in here sorry.
Labels: LIFE
¶ 9:40 PM
Name's Damien, music is the game. Don't know where I'd be without it.