Thursday, June 2, 2011, 9:40 PM | back to the top.
I'll probably be blogging a bit more now on here considering I'm off my tumblr for the moment.
Anyways I'm in Geography at the moment just nodding off so I thought I'd blog. So I didn't finish the Methods sac.. yay. I just wanted to get it over and done with and leave. I didn't even bother getting the last sac mark, until Farrel at lunch told me I should. So I'm currently dreading getting the mark afterschool. I'll probably finish off this post afterschool so I shall update then on my mark. Anyway yeah I did really shit on the sac today, and for some reason I've lost motivation to actually bother and improve. I'm just too mentally weak, and you are probably thinking, "Damien just start studying already", "Stop complaining and start working". And yes I know I know I should. I need to start bothering already...
School is just so draining for me these days. Why bother going. You go to school, do work you don't want to do, see people you don't want to see, then go home and do more work you don't want to do. Why bother with the system. I really want to just drop out and do a trade or something. I would be perfectly fine just being a mechanic. I may have low expectations of life, but why have such high ones just to get dissapointed. Seems pointless really when you think about it. You live you die, simple as that. Why make such a big deal on being rich and "happy". It is just fake bought happiness. Personally as I've already told some people, I would be perfectly happy spending my life working on cars and fixing them. That's my idea of a happy life. But of course I'm stuck with this option now.
You know I think I might take a new direction at social interactions. Instead of just hiding behind something and not really, I guess doing anything about how some people act to me. I think I'll just blatantly tell them. If you are being a bitch to me, I'll be a bitch to you. You hate me, I hate you. Simple right? I guess it'll be easier to vent anger instead of building it up. So no apologies to people I'm mean to now, if you deserve it you'll get it.
Anyways I'm in Geography at the moment just nodding off so I thought I'd blog. So I didn't finish the Methods sac.. yay. I just wanted to get it over and done with and leave. I didn't even bother getting the last sac mark, until Farrel at lunch told me I should. So I'm currently dreading getting the mark afterschool. I'll probably finish off this post afterschool so I shall update then on my mark. Anyway yeah I did really shit on the sac today, and for some reason I've lost motivation to actually bother and improve. I'm just too mentally weak, and you are probably thinking, "Damien just start studying already", "Stop complaining and start working". And yes I know I know I should. I need to start bothering already...
School is just so draining for me these days. Why bother going. You go to school, do work you don't want to do, see people you don't want to see, then go home and do more work you don't want to do. Why bother with the system. I really want to just drop out and do a trade or something. I would be perfectly fine just being a mechanic. I may have low expectations of life, but why have such high ones just to get dissapointed. Seems pointless really when you think about it. You live you die, simple as that. Why make such a big deal on being rich and "happy". It is just fake bought happiness. Personally as I've already told some people, I would be perfectly happy spending my life working on cars and fixing them. That's my idea of a happy life. But of course I'm stuck with this option now.
You know I think I might take a new direction at social interactions. Instead of just hiding behind something and not really, I guess doing anything about how some people act to me. I think I'll just blatantly tell them. If you are being a bitch to me, I'll be a bitch to you. You hate me, I hate you. Simple right? I guess it'll be easier to vent anger instead of building it up. So no apologies to people I'm mean to now, if you deserve it you'll get it.
OKAY YEAH I'M HOME NOW! If you aren't following, those previous paragraphs were randomly written at different times during last period. But I'm home now so I'll write something proper.
Btw, I got 22/32 for the previous Methods sac. Farrel insisted it was good because I actually pasted, but there is a long way to go.
So yeah I've been thinking a lot about friendships recently. And yeah I know I think too much, get over it. But like what can you use to define your friendship with someone? I find it really hard to define my social relationships for some reason. I mean yeah there are the obvious sub-categories of acquaintance, friend, best-friend. But don't you think that this is just too vague? I mean let me get into chemistry talk to explain this. You can consider classifying social relationships in a similar way to orbitals in an atom. So the higher energy orbitals are where your closer friends are, and lower energy orbitals are where your acquaintances are. BUT the electrons (your friends) can switch orbitals, and thus release energy in the form of light (or in context to this a fight). But there are not just those defined orbital shells, but there are many sub-shells as well. See what I need at the moment is one of those spectroscopes. For chemistry I know all the wavelengths and how to classify them. But for relationships I don't, I NEED TO KNOW PEOPLE'S WAVELENGTHS! So yeah I think you all understand what I'm saying now, so I'll stop with the chemistry comparison. You may ask why I want to 'define' my friendships with people. The answer is pretty simple, so I know what I'm getting and what I'm in for. If I feel like you are my closest friend, then realize I'm just secondary to you, I will be effected you know. Hence I need something definite.
Btw, I got 22/32 for the previous Methods sac. Farrel insisted it was good because I actually pasted, but there is a long way to go.
So yeah I've been thinking a lot about friendships recently. And yeah I know I think too much, get over it. But like what can you use to define your friendship with someone? I find it really hard to define my social relationships for some reason. I mean yeah there are the obvious sub-categories of acquaintance, friend, best-friend. But don't you think that this is just too vague? I mean let me get into chemistry talk to explain this. You can consider classifying social relationships in a similar way to orbitals in an atom. So the higher energy orbitals are where your closer friends are, and lower energy orbitals are where your acquaintances are. BUT the electrons (your friends) can switch orbitals, and thus release energy in the form of light (or in context to this a fight). But there are not just those defined orbital shells, but there are many sub-shells as well. See what I need at the moment is one of those spectroscopes. For chemistry I know all the wavelengths and how to classify them. But for relationships I don't, I NEED TO KNOW PEOPLE'S WAVELENGTHS! So yeah I think you all understand what I'm saying now, so I'll stop with the chemistry comparison. You may ask why I want to 'define' my friendships with people. The answer is pretty simple, so I know what I'm getting and what I'm in for. If I feel like you are my closest friend, then realize I'm just secondary to you, I will be effected you know. Hence I need something definite.
Too many problems going on in my life. I really need some stability right now. I think I work the best in a stable environment.
Example of a stable environment - A bunch of close friends I can trust, parents who care and allow me to be my own person, a school which I can be confident at about my academic standards.
Example of a non stable environment - My life at the moment (No I'm not telling you any more).
#There are probably quite a few typos in here sorry.
Labels: LIFE
Name's Damien, music is the game. Don't know where I'd be without it.