crash and burn
Life atm... = crash and burn.
First off, lost my sport uniform, just great ain't it? Just can't wait till I finally get the balls to tell my parents. Cue biggest fucking lecture ever. Throw in a grounding, and the biggest rage fit by parents. I can't wait.. =="
I mean I guess it's my fault. But they don't HAVE TO FUCKING SPAZ. FML.!
I'm not looking forward to this. Not one bit.
Now to what I really wanted to touch on in this post. How awesome Sri Lanka is in cricket atm!! nahh fuck that. Couldn't care less about cricket atm.
But today I had a discussion with two people about religion. A sensitive topic I know, something I don't like dwelling into too much. But I feel like this deserved a post.
For those who don't know my background with religion is mixed. My mother is a Christian and my father is a Buddhist. Growing up I've gone to both church and temple. So I can't really say I'm one thing or another. One thing I definitely ain't is both.
One of the people I talked with is a practising Christian, although have found doubt in their faith. Which is a fair enough point. With religion there is always doubt. What can you really believe you know. Now I won't bother going into analysing Christianity because I myself have essentially no knowledge on it.
But this is just something I want to get people thinking about. Can you truly consume yourself in religion. I mean no one can say there is a God, or there isn't a God. But how do people jump into faith so easily. I guess when your grown up around a particular religion and you are exposed to it you are just that much more likely to follow the same faith. Maybe it's just something I myself can't understand. I mean I can't choose between two religions. I don't think anyone can just do that.
Then something at lunch just triggered something in me. If anything a sense of fear. Lunch times there is a Christian group run for the Christian students. I went along with a friend for the sake of it. Couldn't hurt.
We started off by talking about our backgrounds in God and various other things. The session itself went pretty well but I had a really uneasy feeling in me. What that is I don't know exactly. Try to understand what I'm saying, I sort of don't know how to describe what I felt.
What it was a mix of fear/anger and bewilderment. I felt pretty excluded from the group as they talked about discovering God and their relationship with God etc. I just sat there listening. But I think I realised why I felt so weird during the session and afterwards. I felt like I was being converted. Now let me say this. They in no way were converting me screaming out "BECOME A CHRISTIAN DAMIEN!!" or any shit like that. But how they discussed their relationship with God and talked about religion and faith, made me feel uneasy. I guess I'll never truly understand why. But I felt like for the first time, my own beliefs on religion were being attacked. As if what I believed was wrong. (Once again I point out they didn't literally attack me or anything, I was just sitting their listening in). I felt like something had impacted on me, just from that one session. Like some process of thought of pushed inside me. It was extremely discomforting. I was being pushed into thinking subconsciously about God and faith, but almost being forced to accept its ideology.
But yes, I don't quite know what it was. Something deeply effected me. It's weird because I've been to church plenty of time and went to a Catholic school. And never before had something make me feel so uneasy like I just did. Now the decision I face is to go back to Christian group and face the uneasiness and possibly be slowly converted subconsciously. Or just not go and always wonder what it was that effected me.
But I'd like to end on one note. My person beliefs in a small passage:
I believe that humans should just leave certain things alone. We look to religion in search of answers. In search of guidance. And I do envy those who are faithful to religion. I really do. To have such faith in something is a gift I am yet to receive. But I think that the answers to these big questions, like how did the universe begin? (this in itself could be it's own post), or why are we here; should just be left alone. It is human nature to look for these answers. But I personally don't want to concern myself with it too much, and concern myself with religious beliefs. I'm sure just like everyone else one day I will turn to religion for answers. But right now I'm leaving the whole matter of religion alone. No I'm not an atheist. I am one who believes what I wish to believe, and this set of beliefs will always change and evolve with time and experiences.
“If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.”
crash and burn
Life atm... = crash and burn.
First off, lost my sport uniform, just great ain't it? Just can't wait till I finally get the balls to tell my parents. Cue biggest fucking lecture ever. Throw in a grounding, and the biggest rage fit by parents. I can't wait.. =="
I mean I guess it's my fault. But they don't HAVE TO FUCKING SPAZ. FML.!
I'm not looking forward to this. Not one bit.
Now to what I really wanted to touch on in this post. How awesome Sri Lanka is in cricket atm!! nahh fuck that. Couldn't care less about cricket atm.
But today I had a discussion with two people about religion. A sensitive topic I know, something I don't like dwelling into too much. But I feel like this deserved a post.
For those who don't know my background with religion is mixed. My mother is a Christian and my father is a Buddhist. Growing up I've gone to both church and temple. So I can't really say I'm one thing or another. One thing I definitely ain't is both.
One of the people I talked with is a practising Christian, although have found doubt in their faith. Which is a fair enough point. With religion there is always doubt. What can you really believe you know. Now I won't bother going into analysing Christianity because I myself have essentially no knowledge on it.
But this is just something I want to get people thinking about. Can you truly consume yourself in religion. I mean no one can say there is a God, or there isn't a God. But how do people jump into faith so easily. I guess when your grown up around a particular religion and you are exposed to it you are just that much more likely to follow the same faith. Maybe it's just something I myself can't understand. I mean I can't choose between two religions. I don't think anyone can just do that.
Then something at lunch just triggered something in me. If anything a sense of fear. Lunch times there is a Christian group run for the Christian students. I went along with a friend for the sake of it. Couldn't hurt.
We started off by talking about our backgrounds in God and various other things. The session itself went pretty well but I had a really uneasy feeling in me. What that is I don't know exactly. Try to understand what I'm saying, I sort of don't know how to describe what I felt.
What it was a mix of fear/anger and bewilderment. I felt pretty excluded from the group as they talked about discovering God and their relationship with God etc. I just sat there listening. But I think I realised why I felt so weird during the session and afterwards. I felt like I was being converted. Now let me say this. They in no way were converting me screaming out "BECOME A CHRISTIAN DAMIEN!!" or any shit like that. But how they discussed their relationship with God and talked about religion and faith, made me feel uneasy. I guess I'll never truly understand why. But I felt like for the first time, my own beliefs on religion were being attacked. As if what I believed was wrong. (Once again I point out they didn't literally attack me or anything, I was just sitting their listening in). I felt like something had impacted on me, just from that one session. Like some process of thought of pushed inside me. It was extremely discomforting. I was being pushed into thinking subconsciously about God and faith, but almost being forced to accept its ideology.
But yes, I don't quite know what it was. Something deeply effected me. It's weird because I've been to church plenty of time and went to a Catholic school. And never before had something make me feel so uneasy like I just did. Now the decision I face is to go back to Christian group and face the uneasiness and possibly be slowly converted subconsciously. Or just not go and always wonder what it was that effected me.
But I'd like to end on one note. My person beliefs in a small passage:
I believe that humans should just leave certain things alone. We look to religion in search of answers. In search of guidance. And I do envy those who are faithful to religion. I really do. To have such faith in something is a gift I am yet to receive. But I think that the answers to these big questions, like how did the universe begin? (this in itself could be it's own post), or why are we here; should just be left alone. It is human nature to look for these answers. But I personally don't want to concern myself with it too much, and concern myself with religious beliefs. I'm sure just like everyone else one day I will turn to religion for answers. But right now I'm leaving the whole matter of religion alone. No I'm not an atheist. I am one who believes what I wish to believe, and this set of beliefs will always change and evolve with time and experiences.
“If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.”
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Name's Damien, music is the game. Don't know where I'd be without it.
Mucked around with some themes coz I was bored.
Here's my negative release on the world.
Fav Bands
Muse..
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Anything that isn't bullshit pop
Wants
Musicman Stingray bass
Ferrari 599
Maxda rx7 fortune by veilside
Dislikes>
most bullshit mainstream music
annoying girls who like playing with guys
most people
networks